Free Fall

         He always wanted to sky dive but had been fearful of heights. The ground seemed to be so far far away. He closed his eyes and let his body go. Fear shuddered inside his body, but slowly he overcame it. He was free falling! He stretched his arms to imitate a bird. The wind waved his hair, slapped his cheeks and made whistling sound as it whizzed past his ears. Felt like heaven. Smiled returned to his face and he felt his body relax. For a moment he wished he was a bird. How lovely it could have been. There is nothing to hold him down. Not even the weight of his body. He looked towards the horizon. The setting sun seemed to be an orange ball of fire with home returning birds strewn across its face. He too wanted to go back home, to his family, to his girlfriend, to his friends. Is it late too go back? His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden, excruciating momentary pain and then he continued to fall. It was different now. Something strange happening to him! He got to control his fall now. He slowly faded away to blackness. Is it already night? Probably it is, he thought. A huge ball of light was racing towards him. He felt nothing now.
         The express train was never late. Today was no exception. At 6:01 P.M. sharp,  it galloped underneath the overhead bridge.

Mellow Memoirs

Once I decided to build a window. A window which help me to look into my past and close it down to forget it. A window which help me to look into the future. So that I could jump out of it and run away to future. Bigger the window, easier and clearer my vision will be. So I started to build a huge wall all around my past. A fortress, so that no shrapnel memories escape and bruise my ever growing thoughts. I kept on building walls. Walls so huge, that one could not see the top from its base. Then one day, when I got tired I realized something. I was so busy building the wall, that I forgot to make a window in it. Walls became so thick that chisel will could not break it. The land of past had hold back my plough. But the will horse was not easily subdued. It hissed. It puffed. And finally made a small hole of hope in the wall. Slowly will chiseled and carved a perfect window. It was so perfect that one could easily fall in love with it and stand beside it for the rest of his life. But beyond the window laid the sultry green meadows and balmy blue skies. One could not help but look through the window. A window amongst the thick black bricks.
I slowly climbed the window sill. The ground below was just a few feet away. I dropped down. Turned back and closed the window. Still there was some light to be seen inside the walled fortress. But I moved on. No, I did not run as I thought I would. Instead I started walking towards the rainbow. The elusive pot full of gold. They say it’s a fairy tale, a myth. True may be, but at least I have some vision. I started walking with my hands in my pocket. A realization I guess. A lesson well learnt.

Good things always catch on.............

It must be the air I guess. Clean air. Pollution free environment is what I am talking about. No. Am not an agent of  'save the world' or 'heal the world' though you might be thinking so. In the contrary this is about people, Indian people.

I am amazed by the NRIs who stay over here( and yes that includes me). They are so polite and with a smile on their face, ever greeting. Small things like 'thank you', 'i am sorry' and 'how are you' are quite rampant among my US friends. So the same has become of my Indian friends. How polite they have become. Amazing.

But the moment they land on their home soil there is a transformation. As if, and almost, someone, some invisible hand switches off the politeness. In US people hold the door for you in shopping malls, movie theaters, restaurants and basically everywhere where there is a door. One of my very good friends tried this at office in IBM kolkata. He held the door for the person behind him but unfortunately there was an influx of people who went on entering the door. Off course, oblivious to the fact that a person is holding the door for them, leave alone 'thank you'.
Agreed. That we are not taught these little things strictly. But interesting to note is that my friend tried to exercise his US habits in India. This is rare among who return back to India. Though there is no reason to behave like this. Yes indeed, it might seem odd initially. But good things always catch on quickly and surely it will.

My US friends might think what a strange place India is!! Ummm its not that bad actually.  Its just that we are not used to such courteousness. And for my Indian friends, they know what I am talking about. I can almost see the grin on their faces. But good things always catch on quickly and surely it will.

Battery

Probably life is like an ice cream. It melts away. Before it does so you have to lick up its flavor. That,s the challenge of life.  Temperature is hot...its fast melting....you got to lick it away....huh!!!!that's what everyone will think. Life is indeed like a single malt whiskey...you savor it as you like it......no one has to do any thing with it. The glass and the peg is yours. If you are having an ice cream, you got to have chocolate chips it it. Make sure have them in your ice cream. Now what are these chocolate chips? These are all the special moments that makes life all that special to live for. To me, life is like a battery, lighten up as much as you can before it goes down.

Twins

            Their mother died when they were just eighteen months old. People say that she was the most beautiful thing world can ever get. Not only was she exceedingly beautiful, her total personality was far much to talk about than her looks. An ardent social worker and godmother to the needy. But, it all changed one unfortunate day and her life could not see her babies toddle. God, must be in very need of such wonderful people, I guess. Or why is this untimely departure? So, after that the twins had themselves to look after each other. In their play, in their sleep they became one rather than two. You must be thinking what happened to their father. Predictable. The one happens with a man when he looses his beautiful and caring wife untimely. Their father, then a successful business man, is now just a drunken sloth, who time to time makes sure to abuse and curse them for his misfortune. When such a situation arise, they embrace each and shiver with a mixture of sadness, fear and astonishment. The only place where they could find solace is the lap of their grandfather, who himself sometimes feels the heat of his son.
           It is said time never stops for anyone, and it did not for the kids. And years went by slowly. Grandpa became their mother, father, teacher and friend. In school they were always were very quite and shy. So much so, when the teacher asked them about some lesson, they could not answer the question even if they knew the answer. They would rather get the stick than speak. Its not that they did not knew the answer, or that they were not bright. Grandpa teaches them well. Its just an inner fear. What will friends say if they say something wrong? But few of his friends did see them talking to each other. That is how six years of their life went by. Until one day, when they spent whole day clasping their grandpa's hand. With tears streaming down their face and no other emotion, they waited patiently for grand pa to speak. Not realizing that their mother,father,teacher and friend is long gone. He will not return back anymore.  Day went by and afternoon came, afternoon went by and nightfall wrapped the room in darkness. Beside his now cold body, they tried to find it's long lost warmth. At a certain hour at night, their father discovers them. Next ten minutes that followed is an emotional scar that lasted forever, besides the scars on their back.
        Many people visited them that day. People they never knew, and yet they shed tears and went by. But the best that could happen to them after this incident was that their father changed. Probably, realizing his own fatherless-ness, he felt their need of someone to take care. For the first time in their life they realized the warmth of a father and small hands touched and felt a human being, as if it is something precious and dear.
      Fate it seems, has most strange and crude ways of making its presence felt. Few months later, their father passed away due to some liver problem. Needless to say, the brothers were all alone again. They could not understand how relatives came from nowhere and claimed their house. After few days, they were abandoned in some far away street. A kind heart gentleman rescued them and took them to an orphanage. Probably hell would have been better for the kids. They were bullied, beaten and spanked by every other kid. What little they used to talk, became completely mute. Out of fear, they spent most of the day at a remote part of the compound.
           Then the monsoon came, but yet they steadfast at the corner. A mango tree was the whole world for them. Be it fever in the rain, they never missed a moment under the motherly tree. It was quite a while before someone noticed a little boy lying motionless at the root of the tree. They thought may be he was fast asleep. The little boy now was in a different world. He is safe there. He is no longer lonely. They have bid good bye to each other. Their mother gave birth to twins, him and loneliness.

His, Hers , Theirs

Hers

She loves to cut onions. To her, it is the best thing in the kitchen to do. Its not that she is a bad cook but she probably loves to eat onions we guess. As she slices the onions to finer chops, she watches her husband roaming around her, trying to take the knife from her and help her out. As she chops more and more, her mind drifts to the days when he was different. He, a free spirit, a footloose to the core, was not only an introvert, but also seldom you would have had found him in places young guys hang out. Yet, all people and friends who know him, love to stay in company with him. There is a comforting factor in his presence which still to this day she has not been able to fathom. In those days he had this deep burning fire in his eyes and stride. She never would have imagined that this tall lanky unsocial guy will one day become her husband. Until one day, when she fell down the college stairs, suddenly a hand came to her help and she looked up to see him. Still today she bets that she saw a halo around his head that moment, though she has never revealed this to anyone. Then began their togetherness punctuated by countless treks and vacation. And one fine day she proposed to more reluctant him. She made him understand that he can go on with his being footloose, she will never hold him back. Because she loved him. And thus began another chapter in their life.
   Now its different. That old him is no longer there. Everything seems to be burned out now. All that is left is the fire in his eyes. Which sometimes pops out whenever he sees national geography or some adventure stuff.
She does not blame him for this. It has been ten years of their togetherness and something happened in their life that changed the whole equation. Loss was so huge that now, they have each other and nothing else. She has to be strong. If she shows weakness, she knows he will breakdown and that she could not bear to see. She has cut down her work schedules to spend more time with him. So that he spends less time alone. Pain is so huge, that it pains even to cry. All that is left of him is the seldom smile which he brings upon his face sometimes. She craves to see the straight dimple on his cheek. She misses them so much. But there is no reason for him to smile. It seemed to her that he is trying to protect her from something. maybe pain. On that fateful day when they both lost all hope in life, she imagined that she will loose him forever. She imagined that he will pickup his rucksack and leave forever. And she would have had not stopped him and actually wanted him to go. She loved him and he is a free spirit. But it never happened that way, contrary to her belief, he settled himself and started to spend time with her.
      Now its no longer that way, how it used to be. As she watches his questioning eyes she goes on slicing onions.

His

He loves to cut onions. He always have been a great cook. Better than her. He probably loves to eat onions we guess.Now as his wife slices through onions, he lends his helping hand. But she wont allow him. She has changed a lot, he thought. She is still the same, still looked the same silly little girl, the day she fell down the stairs. Still beautiful, smart with streaks of gray hair here and there. He never would have imagined that a smart girl will fall for him until she proposed him. He had no intention of settling down. And conveyed the same to her. But she convinced him otherwise and stated that he will have license to go wherever he wanted. Strange proposition. But he fell for it. After all, she is so beautiful. She is the best in business in terms of her work. Bubbly, full of life and laughter. And he, just the opposite, maybe. He could not have asked for more.
And thus began another chapter in their life.
       Now its different. After that fateful day, everything changed. Now all he cares about is her. He wants to ease her pain in whatever way he can. He knows, no matter what he does. it will not do any good. But at least she will have him beside her. That is the reason he cut down on his trips. His heart aches for them. He also knows, that if he leaves now, he will be gone forever and his heart will never want to come back again. And he will never be able to forgive himself for abandoning her. His heart aches too. Pain is so great that it is even painful to cry. How could such a thing happen to good people like them. The life, which used to bounce about around them, is lost. As if, the juice has been squeezed out of the sugar cane, all that remains now is fibrous dry pulp. They are that pulp now. He watches her wife closely. Her expert hands slicing the onions. But it seems her mind is not here. It has drifted so far away, that when he calls her name she almost fails to listen. She, for some odd reason gave him a smile. How he misses them now. He misses the straight dimple in her cheek. Yes. they have that thing in common. In college days that dimple was a permanent thing on her cheeks. Now its seldom seen. He wanted to touch her and comfort her. But he knows that any sign of sympathy will break her down. He knows that she thinks of him the same way. But she does not know herself that she needs more care than him. She feels she is strong, but it is not so. He knows that. So she needs support rather than sympathy. So he silently keeps watch on her. Like an invisible hand, always comforting her. His heart Aches. Suddenly, it seemed to her, she saw that halo again. After so many years, it occurred to her again. She stopped for a second. He smiled and took the knife from her hands and began slicing the onions.

THEIRS

....So they both love to cut onions. Because it helps them to hide their tears.

aLeX iN WonDerLand

So...you must be thinking whats all this about? Well, very honestly, I cannot tell you. Its for you to guess. But that day the white rabbit did show off a lot. With his big showy spectacles and and big pocket watch, which I do not know how it keeps in it's pocket, it will make you feel that you are missing something. Indeed, you are surely missing something. And just like anybody else, Alex will simply follow it to the rabbit hole.
 Now down below the rabbit hole and beyond the darkness, to everyone, lies a dreamy land. A dream come true to be there. Without thinking anything, alex jumps into the rabbit hole. On reaching the wonderland, there was a very small cake for him. I mean really tiny. And that really tiny cake, was supposed to make him really huge. Hah!!! there goes the first catch. Now wonderland, is thought to be very wonderful and its so huge that sun never sets in wonderland.
 The first thing which happens to alex, that he meets caterpillar. The Caterpillar is sitting on a mushroom while smoking a hookah, when alex first meets him. Not only the guru like caterpillar teaches him to eat mushrooms, but also how to garden and grow them. They become dear friends, but caterpillar mostly keeps to himself. But what attracted alex more often was the Cheshire Cat. The Cheshire Cat is the cat of the Duchess. alex meets it when he leaves the Duchess house, and finds it in a tree. It constantly grins and can disappear and reappear whenever it likes. Sometimes it
disappears and leaves its grin behind. Its grin sometimes is really stupid and irritating. It tries to teach alex about all the important things in wonderland, but seldom remembers them for himself. As like any cat, it only cares for those who offer him a sauce pan of milk. As it is said of cats, they seldom remain loyal.
 For first few days, alex had a wonderful time in wonderland. But slowly, the queen of hearts cut down the cake supplies. And even the mad hatter parties were off too. It was just making merry and merry. There was nothing else to do. In addition to that, there was jabberwocky. Jabberwocky is an invisible, scary being. Seldom comes in limelight, but when it does it spares no one. alex always tried not to disturb this creature. But one day things led to a scary situation and jabberwocky was really after him. But he managed to save himself some how. Madhatter is a pretty comfortable character and is like a guradian to alex. But if front of queen of hearts, everyone is just as stupid as a stone. But his tea parties always comforted alex.
 After many days when alex got bored with all the merry making that wonderland had to offer him, he decided to meet queen of hearts. The queen of Hearts rules over Wonderland and is a tyrant - violent, authoritative and dominant. SHe likes to play croquet with live flamingoes and hedgehogs as mallets and balls (but only when she wins, and by hid own rules) and constantly orders the beheading of people when something isn't to her liking. SHe also has her own ideas about how trials should be conducted, and is feared by all other Wonderland inhabitants because of her lack of patience and explosive character. Many has fallen prey to her. So, as i was saying...queen of hearts never saw him and alex returned dissapointed.
 This is how, each day and night went by without any event. alex neither grew tall nor fattened up. Infact he grew thinner. With this came a turnin gpoint in wonderland. alex attends a trial whereby the Knave of hearts  is accused of stealing the Queen's tarts. The jury is composed of various animals, including Bill the Lizard, the White Rabbit is the court's trumpeter, and the judge is the King of Hearts.
The White Rabbit announces the charges as:
The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
and took them quite away!

The Knave rarely speaks during the trial. The Mad Hatter is called to give evidence but spends his entire time being nervous in front of the King and Queen of Hearts, and the Duchess's cook is summoned to tell the court what tarts are made of. By this time caterpillar left the court in disgust and Knave was suppose serve a sentence of ten years of rigourous merry making in woderland. Without any break. Chesire cat is nowhere to be seen and not its big grin is visible. He did not knew knave or caterpilaar at all. Interestingly alex was made a witness for something he had no idea. But he was gain not heard by anyone.
     So, after the trial, nobody knew what happened to knave. alex is still sometimes seen in wonderland wandering about in his own thoughts and completely bored with all the merry making. But you will certainly see the white rabbit in your garden. And you might follow him to the wonderland. What a wonderful situation that would be, is, was!!!